Grief Support

The Widowed Persons Support Group offers a free 6-week grief support program specifically designed for persons widowed in the last several years and a free 4-week advanced grief support program specifically designed for those with longer losses. These sessions are designed to address grief in a confidential and respectful manner. We offer these sessions three to four times per year.

Our Grief Facilitator is an excellent, qualified, professional Counselor, who is also a widow, and who has years of experience in Grief Counseling.

SIX WEEEK GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP

WIDOWED PERSONS SUPPORT GROUP- November 10 through December 15 on Sundays from 2 to 4 p.m., near Central Expressway & Walnut Hill Lane, Dallas. This free six-week grief support program is designed for widowed persons who are in the first several years after their loss. Our facilitator is an advanced grief facilitator and widow. Register by November 1 by leaving name & number for a returned call at 214-358-4155. .

MY STORY

My name is Lilly Adrian….please allow me to tell you MY STORY:

As an advanced grief facilitator, I already knew a thing or two about grief—at least on an intellectual level. I’d learned about things like “complicated grief” and had listened to many who were suffering from deep grief.

But I gained a new understanding of grief after my husband died. I spent a solid decade grieving a series of losses. I became a widow at 54, very suddenly…then lost my dad from Alzheimer’s shortly afterwards and then my mom from the grief of HIS LOSS.

While all three losses were painful, losing my husband, Tim, taught me the most about grief. Here’s what I learned:

Grief Comes in Waves

After my husband died, the grief initially felt constant. As the months passed, however, the painful feelings came in waves. Sadness, anger, anxiety, and many other jumbled emotions would come and go.

Grief Makes Your Brain Play Tricks on You

Even after my husband died, there were times my mind would almost act as if he were back. There were moments when I’d think, 'I can’t wait to tell Tim about this!' And then, I’d remember this was permanent.

Kind People Make a Huge Difference

In the days after he died, some people sent cards. Others delivered food to my house. And lots of people spent time with me. It was such a relief to be surrounded by kind people who cared.

But most people weren’t sure what to say or do. But all acts of kindness helped me feel a little less alone.

It’s Hard for People to Know How to Act After the Loss of a Spouse:

They don’t want to see you in pain….they too are experiencing a great deal of loss, if they also knew you and your spouse on a personal level. Of course, their hearts were in the right place. And while finding moments of laughter and light hearted conversation can be part of the healing process, there was sometimes pressure to act like I was doing better than I felt. I didn’t want other people to feel uncomfortable being around me.

Practical Tasks Feel Overwhelming

And, of course, the list of practical things I had to get done after my husband died didn’t end with the funeral. I had to decide what to sell (like Tims tool’s), send death certificates to cancel services, and figure out how to get by financially once I was down to one income. I wasn’t even sure what my debit card password was or how to pump gas??? That may sound silly to you….but those tasks were very hard to do. This is where complicated grief comes in and causes many different emotions…with anger being one of those…towards the one who passed away…HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME!!!!

Grief Is the Process by Which We Heal…AND THERE IS NO TIMELINE:

Grief is unquestionably painful. And it’s tempting to try and go around the pain OR under the pain…but we must go through the pain. I wanted to distract myself and fast forward until I felt better. But I quickly learned that this was not possible. Once I began to walk THROUGH the pain….with the help of those who surrounded me with great intentions….then the healing process began.

Grief is a process we must go through in order to find JOY ONCE AGAIN. It’s not TIME THAT HEALS….. It’s how we deal with time that matters.

Lillian Adrian – Advanced Grief Facilitator, Author and Consultant.